"Sittin' at home last Sunday mornin' me mate Boomer rang
Said he was
havin' a few people around for a barbie,
Said he might Kookaburra or
two.
I said, "Sounds great, will Wallaby there?"
He said "Yeah and Vegemite come too".
So I said to the wife "Do you wanna Go, anna?".
She said "I'll go if Dingos".
So I said "Wattle we do about Nulla?"
He said "Nullabors me to tears, leave him at home."
We got to the party about two and walked straight out the kitchen to put
some booze in the fridge. And you wouldn't believe it, there's Boomer's
wife Warra sittin' there tryin' to Platypus!
Now, I don't like to speak Illawarra, but I was shocked, I mean how much can a Koala bear.
So I grabbed a beer, flashed me Wangarratta and went out and joined the party.
Pretty soon Ayers Rocks in and things really started jumpin'.
This
Indian girl, Marsu, turns up, dying to go to the toilet but she couldn't
find it.
I said to me mate Al, "Hey, where can Marsupial?"
He said "She
can go outback with the fellas, she's probably seen a cockatoo".
Well just then Warra comes out of the kitchen with a few drinks for
everybody.
Fairdinkum, you've never seen a Coolabah maid. I grabbed a
beer and said, "Thanks Warra - tah".
A couple of Queensland at the party, one smellin' pretty strongly of
aftershave. One of 'em sat down next to me and I turned to him and I
said, "Ya know mate, Eureka Stockade!"
It was a really hot day; Oscar felt like a swim. He said to Ina, "Do you
want a have a dip in the Riverina?" She said "I haven't got my
Kosiosko".
Well Bo says, "Come in starkers, Wattle they care!" Ina says "What,
without so much as a Thredbo?" Ah, Perisher thought! Has Eucumbine in
yet?
Well a few of the blokes decided to play some cricket.
Boomer says "Why doesn't Wombat?" "Yeah, and let Tenterfield".
He said I should have a bowl but I was too out of it to play cricket so I
suggested a game of cards. I said to Lyptus "Wanna game of Eucalyptus?"
He said "There's no point mate, Darwins everytime."
Well Bill said he'd like a smoke. Nobody knew where the dope was
stashed. I said "I think Merinos." But I was just spinning a bit of a
yarn. Barry pulls a joint out of his pocket. Bill says "Great, Barrier
Reefer, what is it mate?" "Noosa Heads of course. Me mate Adelaide 'em
on me." And it was a great joint too, Blue Mountains away and his Three
Sisters
Well I thought I'd roll one meself, I said "Chuck us the Tally Hobart".
He said "They're out on the Laun, Ceston, can you get em for us?" Burnie
says "Its okay mate, she's apples, I'll get em for ya"
Just then Alice Springs into action, starts to pack Billabong. And you
wouldn't believe it, the bongs broken. I said "Lord Howe!"
"Hay-man" somebody says "Will a Didgeridoo?" I said "Hummmmm mummmm mummmmm mummmmm maybe it'll have to."
I look in the corner and there's Bass sitting there, not getting into it,
not getting out of it, I said "What, is Bass Strait or something?" Boomer
says "As a matter a fact mate, he's a cop" I said "Ya jokin' mate, a
cop, I'm getting outta here, lets Goanna." She said "No way, I'm hangin
round till Gum leaves. Besides, I dont wanna leave Jacardanda party on
his own. Have you seen him? I think he's trying to crack on Toowoomba,
he's already tried to Mount Isa And he'll definitely try to lead you
Australiana!"
Austen Tayshus
The number one single in 1983......Crikey!!